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Tag Archives: chronic fatigue

I had a couple of “good” days last week so I took the opportunity to escape the confines of my bedroom and head to the shops with my little sisters, mother-in-law, and Paul (who hates shopping). It felt great to get out, especially as I managed to bag myself some beauty bargains. I have been wanting to do more beauty posts and videos both on here and over at my You Tube channel.

Beauty is more than skin deep

Since I’ve been really unwell, beauty for me has become something that has not only made me feel more beaut-iful (check the pun), but also allowed me to have a better relationship with my body. I know that sounds a little bit like the painkillers have really started to turn my brain to mush but allow me to explain. When you’re in a lot of pain and you constantly feel exhausted you begin to see your body as a prison, I know I’m not the only sick person who feels this way, but I’ve found that when I started experimenting with make up, bath bombs, lotions, etc, I began to feel happier in my skin again. The feminist side of me screams, ‘but isn’t that just the media telling you need to look a certain way?’ No, it’s different, a subtle difference I’ll admit, but there is a difference. Beauty products and routines allow me to feel human by making the most of my  body. I know that it’s not make up or body butter that makes me beautiful, but my skin does feel smooth and soft after my skin care routine. Very often, I’m in too much pain and too exhausted to do any kind of beauty routine and I’d choose being able to leave the house or spend time with people over doing my make up any day of the week, but when I can, I’ve come to love spending time looking after my body. Not to mention the fact that my body needs a lot more care than the average twenty-something year old because of my illness.

 

A new creation is born

These are thoughts that have been whirling around in my brain for sometime now but it’s only in the last couple of weeks that they’ve developed into something more. While I’ve been stuck in bed I’ve been watching a lot of make up tutorials, and beauty product reviews/hauls on You Tube, and finding new beauty blogs to read. It wasn’t long before it became glaringly obvious to me that there was a big gap amongst the huge wealth of material out there. I couldn’t find anything devoted to making sick people feel beautiful, and more importantly, I couldn’t find anything for someone with limited energy and high pain levels. With this revelation was birthed a new feature – Chronically Beautiful. I’m going to fill the gap so that anyone in a similar situation to me can have access to tutorials and reviews to fit their needs. I have loads of ideas but to give you a sneak peek, you can expect to see a big MUA make up review video soon, and posts like 5 minute make up routine, and daily skin care routine coming soon.

For now, I leave you with my first ever haul video:


 

As I’m new to this stuff, I really value feedback, so please leave any thoughts you have in the comments box below or on my You Tube channel.

Love Katie x

P.s. If you are or know of any beauty companies who would be interested in sponsoring this new venture then please contact me at the usual email address (chronicallykatieblog@gmail.com).

FASHION is a whole other ball game, but one that I intend to play so check back here soon. Don’t miss any updates by subscribing by e-mail in the box to the right of this post and to my You Tube channel.


Oh boy do I have a lot to tell you! I have quite a few blog posts stored up in the tattered notebook in my mind which I hope I can transfer onto screen in the coming week. This post, however, as the name suggests, will focus on an extraordinary experience I had this week.

This week I went back to lectures after the long exam period (there’s another there). As I’ve mentioned countless times before on here, I love studying. I am not like other students who hate going to lectures, I excitedly try ad soak up everything my lecturer has to say. Yes, I am a geek.

I had to spend all Sunday and most of Saturday in bed so I thought my body would be eager to get up and about by Monday morning. No deal. I woke up Monday morning feeling awful. Paul helped me struggle through breakfast and getting dressed, feeding me my favourite cereal and coffee. He is amazing, what a hero.  when he could see that it was becoming more and more evident that I was not going to be able to drive my mobility scooter to university (bare in mind we live less than 4 minutes away , I’ve timed it), he did what we should have done in the first place – prayed. this brought a smile to my face. I know that I have a God who always has my best interests at heart. I find it incredible that I could trust my Heavenly Father completely and yet forget to put my day in his hands.

Anyway back to the story. Paul placed his hands on me and prayed that I would not only manage to get to my lecture but also that I would be able to concentrate on what the lecturer was saying. Just over an hour later he picked me up from my first lecture of the day. I had a giant smile on my face.

“It was so good, I loved it. I felt fine and could take it all in. I think I took really good notes too” I told P, a bit too loudly.

I went to two lectures yesterday, one today and I managed 40 minutes of work this morning too. This is incredible. The cynics among you might think that I am just experiencing a placebo effect or something. I am not saying I am completely healed, I still need my painkillers, and I needed a nap yesterday too, but I cannot think of another word to describe what is happening other then ‘miracle’. I have not even been able to mange 10 minutes of concentration for over a month, I’ve tried so many times and now all of a sudden I can attend lectures and read journal articles. Amazing.

I don’t know whether this is a beginning of a complete healing or whether this partial healing will only last a set amount of time. I know that  I have a God who I am trust and if I put my life in his hands will use all the pain, exhaustion, frustration and tear for something great.

I decided to share this experience on here to bring you hope. I know many of my readers are sick themselves or maybe you’re in another type of situation that you need breakthrough in. I know this post might make you uncomfortable, there’s a lot of pain and emotion associated with healing. I know because I’ve been and am still going through it myself. The disappointment of not being healed can make you want to give up. It seems to take up too much energy to keep trusting and hoping. If we stop believing though, we give in, our sickness wins.

Bible says we are more than conquerors. If you put your trust in God, He might not take your life where you want it to go or might not intervene in the way you want Him to but you can be certain that His plan is the best plan. That’s why, even though I want to be well and healthy, I know that I am in the right place, I have complete faith in him.

If this answer to Paul’s prayer has taught me anything its that I need to pray every morning and put my day in his hands.

Love Katie x


For just over a week, I have watched weather reports and Facebook with jealousy. I love snow and since we didn’t get any last year here in the centre of Cardiff, I was desperate for some this year. For the four years I have lived in the city I haven’t had a chance to make a snowman or even play in the snow. This year, despite feeling really ill, I was able to make it outside. Not having to climb stairs is a real help.  Usually any cold makes my muscles tighten and cause me a lot of pain (it’s not fair that this doesn’t result in toned muscles) so I put A LOT of layers on. I mean a lot. It was like the longest strip you’ve ever seen when I came back inside. If it’d been a strip tease, you would have had to include an intermission.

P brought me a chair to sit on outside so that I could watch him make a snowman. It wasn’t actually that cold outside so I wasn’t shivering. He didn’t have much to work with since we had just about an inch of snow and even that was melting pretty fast. He did, however, manage to make some semblance of a snowman, which we then turned into a fashionable lady, boobs and all.

The other reason I really wanted to get snow here was because I knew (or so I thought) that Didi would love playing in it. I seriously misjudged this. It turns out that all the pampering she receives has turned her into quite the wimp. She hated being outside and touching the cold stuff. When we got back into the house she curled up on my lap and quickly fell into a deep sleep, and has remained there ever since. Traumatic experiences really take it out of her.

The last reason that getting snow was so great was because it gave me the impetus to try making a video for the first time. I used my iPad and the ‘iMovie‘ app to make the video below. It’s only 38 seconds long but I don’t think it’s too shabby for a first attempt. I reckon using videos on here a lot more is a good idea. It means that when I feel too sick and dizzy to look at the computer screen I can record a vlog, or be able to show you more of my world.

 

If you have a YouTube account please be kind enough to subscribe to my channel here and leave me a comment. I really value constructive feedback so share your thoughts, good or bad.

Time to head off into the snow again for a hot chocolate with my favourite guy.

Love Katie x

 

Apple iPad 2 Wi-Fi – Tablet – 16 GB – 9.7″ IPS ( 1024 x 768 ) – rear camera + front camera – Wi-Fi, Bluetooth – black

The New Apple iPad (16GB, Wi-Fi, Black) 3RD GENERATION


Yesterday was an exhausting but wonderful day. I’ve said (or written) before on here that sometimes I do things that are far beyond what I know my body can manage, but I do them because it’s worth the pain and exhaustion during and after the event. Yesterday afternoon is a prime example. Back in the summer I purchased a voucher from Living Social for me and my best friend, R (remember her from this post?), to have a makeover and photo shoot at a studio in Cardiff.

R lives all the way in Kent so even though her birthday is in November, yesterday was the first opportunity we had to go to the studio. There was a point back in November when I thought I’d ballsed it up and that we wouldn’t be able to go at all. It was mid-Nanowrimo and I was feeling really sick, and basically I forgot to book before my voucher ran out. Thankfully, when Paul rang, the lady at Revolve was really understanding and let us book anyway. Phew.

Source: Google images

Source: Google images

As usual on an important day, my body decided to have a bad day so things didn’t go to plan yesterday. Despite resting the day before and going to bed at a reasonable time, I woke up yesterday morning feeling like I’d run three marathons the day before. I was utterly exhausted. We needed to be at the studio by 1pm and I wasn’t able to get out of bed until 12pm. Not a great start, but thanks to a higher than usual dose of painkillers and a cup of coffee that closely resembled oil, I was at least able to move quite quickly when I did get out of bed. Unfortunately, as I was on a huge high, I couldn’t think straight so I was still darting around the house like a mad thing when R arrived.

I’ve realised lately how important it is for me to eat regularly. I probably should have reached this conclusion much sooner, but it’s become apparent just how much worse I feel when I am late eating any of my three meals or skip one. I lose my appetite quite easily when I feel sick (hard to believe when you see the size of me I know) but now I make sure I eat at least a little something wholesome for breakfast and lunch each day. It wasn’t a good plan then for me to skip lunch yesterday because I didn’t have time to eat. It also meant that when we arrived home later after the photo shoot that I pigged out on high sugar and fat snacks like biscuits. Naughty naughty. This is a bad idea for anyone, but when your body puts on a stone at the sight of ice cream, it’s a really bad idea. I can add yesterday to the long list of examples which have taught me to plan ahead better so that even if I can’t think laterally Paul knows what I need and when.

Despite all of the things that went wrong, R and I arrived at the studio and, as it always does, everything worked out fine. Better than fine actually, a brilliant afternoon was had by all. I love make up but I don’t often have the energy to spend time doing it, so I love it when someone else is doing it for me. A professional make up artist choosing from their array of expensive make up is a great treat for me. Of course I love having my hair done too. I can’t lift my arms without being in a lot of pain so even if I knew how to style a beehive, I wouldn’t be able to, so any opportunity I get for someone to style my hair like that, I jump at the chance. The three times I’ve had a hairdresser style my hair into a beehive, whenever I’ve been asked how high to take it, without a second thought I answer, “as high as you can.”

Not only were all of the staff lovely and paid us compliments (never a bad thing, flattery goes a long way), the studio were really good at helping me manage my disability. Paul had told them beforehand I was disabled, but hadn’t gone into any details. The photographer picked up on what I could and couldn’t manage though by how easily I walked (using my stick and R’s arm) and made sure all the photos that included me didn’t contain any difficult poses. This was a huge improvement since the last time I was at the studio. When I went to the same studio with my sister two years before, the photographer had me sitting on the floor, doing poses that required balance, etc, even though I’d explained to her my illness. At the time I went along with it because I never want to say, “no that hurts too much.” This time, however, the only time I was standing in a photo was when I was leaning against a wall. The rest of the time I was sitting on some kind of prop or chair, but R had photos lying on the floor, and other types of poses I would have struggled with. The fact that I didn’t need to mention my illness the whole afternoon made the time so much more enjoyable. I’d never expect someone to be that aware of what I can and can’t manage, but it certainly is nice when it does happen.

Source: Google images

Source: Google images

The best bit of the afternoon though was seeing how gorgeous R looked. She is having a difficult time at the moment and definitely deserves some pampering. She is one of, if not the, most beautiful women I know. When she was having her photos taken, she actually reminded me of a model or a film star.

The hardest part was when it came to choosing our shots. R looked so wonderful in all of hers that I wanted to buy them all for her, of course monetarily, that would have meant not paying rent. I have to admit, I didn’t feel great about myself looking at the photos of me, but I wasn’t too upset since the afternoon was about giving R a great birthday treat and not about boosting my self esteem. In the end, we were able to come away with four lovely shots though, which we were both happy with. I can’t wait to put copies of the photos into frames so that I can re-live the memory of that afternoon many times over.

So, what do you think of the photos?

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Love Katie x


 November has very much been an emotional and physical rollacoaster. I feel very lucky to have a fantastic husband and some great friends who were willing to patiently ride it with me.

Regular readers will know that I participated in National Novel Writing Month last month, I am sure you will all be pleased to hear that I completed my novel! I am very proud of my accomplishment, it makes me realise how much I can achieve with my writing with the right amount of dedication. I am very thankful to my friends who sent me messages of encouragement and to my husband who put my laptop in front of me even when I resisted.

It was very difficult for me to write 50,000 words in such a short space of time. ..

This is as far as I have got in writing an update blog post. I am seriously struggling with motivation at the moment. My body is exhausted and every time I do something I have to stay in bed for days on end to recover. That doesn’t exactly inspire me to go places or work hard.

I have so much to be thankful for, the last two weeks in particular have been jam packed with treats, presents and wonderful events, and yet I do not want to get out of bed. I should be on top of the world right now. I don’t know completely whether it’s my body or my depression. I certainly struggle when I do get out of bed, not just struggled, I have to really fight to get up but I’m not doing anything while I’m in bed either. My pain levels are really bad and I’m not sleeping much, but I don’t feel like I want to look after myself at all, I would happily hide away from the world. Perhaps there isn’t one problem, it’s most likely to be a combination of both depression and sickness. Usually I would fight these kinds of emotions and thoughts by throwing myself into social events and university work, but my physical illness is holding me back. What is clear is that I need to push past my physical problems if I want to stay on track with my university course.

Even though I barely began my ‘catch up’ post I wanted to put it up to show you where I am right now. A bit lost and struggling to work on anything, least of all my university work, which I am desperately behind with. I will continue to attempt to force myself out of this though, I know that God is close, and will bring me through this deep valley.

Love Katie x

 


Cover of "The State of Me"

Image source: Amazon

One of my favourite books of all time is The State of M(available in the UK and the USA through Amazon). I am an avid reader, not the sort of person whose favourite book is the single book they’ve ever read, so you know that it’s well worth a read. It is a semi-autobiographical novel about a young woman in the 1980s who becomes ill with the mystery illness M.E. This is around the time my daddy got diagnosed so when I was reading about the hilarious/horrendous things people (including in the medical profession) came out with, I realised exactly what my dad had to face. Things are better now, but the reason that Nasim wrote this book (despite it almost killing her) is because things haven’t changed enough. We both write about our experiences for the same reason, to raise awareness about what living with chronic illnesses is really like.

 

I really would recommend reading it both for a bit of awareness about the condition, but also just because it’s a genuinely good book that I just couldn’t put down. The only health warnings I would put on it is that you need to remember that this is a book of its time so not all the facts are necessarily still true, and also that each patient’s symptoms can vary quite a lot.

 

I am bringing this up now because the author, Nasim Marie Jafry, has posted chapter 15 on her blog Velo Gubbed Legs (you can read it here). This chapter is actually different from the rest of the novel because it comes in the form of Q & As. It is very readable and I urge you to check it out. 

 

In case I haven’t given Nasim quite enough praise, you can also follow her on Twitter. She often tweets about things in the news about M.E./C.F.S. so if you’d like to be a bit more informed then she’s one of the best people to “follow”.

 

Love Katie x

 

p.s. Sadly I wasn’t paid to write this blog post- I just really like this book. Haha.

 



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