November has very much been an emotional and physical rollacoaster. I feel very lucky to have a fantastic husband and some great friends who were willing to patiently ride it with me.
Regular readers will know that I participated in National Novel Writing Month last month, I am sure you will all be pleased to hear that I completed my novel! I am very proud of my accomplishment, it makes me realise how much I can achieve with my writing with the right amount of dedication. I am very thankful to my friends who sent me messages of encouragement and to my husband who put my laptop in front of me even when I resisted.
It was very difficult for me to write 50,000 words in such a short space of time. ..
This is as far as I have got in writing an update blog post. I am seriously struggling with motivation at the moment. My body is exhausted and every time I do something I have to stay in bed for days on end to recover. That doesn’t exactly inspire me to go places or work hard.
I have so much to be thankful for, the last two weeks in particular have been jam packed with treats, presents and wonderful events, and yet I do not want to get out of bed. I should be on top of the world right now. I don’t know completely whether it’s my body or my depression. I certainly struggle when I do get out of bed, not just struggled, I have to really fight to get up but I’m not doing anything while I’m in bed either. My pain levels are really bad and I’m not sleeping much, but I don’t feel like I want to look after myself at all, I would happily hide away from the world. Perhaps there isn’t one problem, it’s most likely to be a combination of both depression and sickness. Usually I would fight these kinds of emotions and thoughts by throwing myself into social events and university work, but my physical illness is holding me back. What is clear is that I need to push past my physical problems if I want to stay on track with my university course.
Even though I barely began my ‘catch up’ post I wanted to put it up to show you where I am right now. A bit lost and struggling to work on anything, least of all my university work, which I am desperately behind with. I will continue to attempt to force myself out of this though, I know that God is close, and will bring me through this deep valley.
Love Katie x
